Since it is after the holidays, most people are rushing to the gym to burn off those unwanted calories from that extra slice of Mama’s pumpkin pie . I always find it difficult to choose the right gym, especially with a new chain popping up on every corner. With all the options to look at, here is a list of some of the things you should consider when looking to join a new gym.
1. Is there anybody I know that lifts there that I don’t want to run into? It would be unbearable to muster up some friendliness to interact in a social environment.
2.Will I be the smallest/most out of shape guy there? What’s the point of trying to get back in shape if I’m that far down the food chain.
3. (For single guys) Enough hot chicks to stare at aimlessly when they are not paying attention.
4. Plenty of mirrors to check myself out in, especially during the first week where I will see the most definition and change in my body.
5. Juice bar because I need to pay for over priced protein shakes I could make for one-tenth of the price at home.
6. Televisions on all cardio machines because there is no way I can run this long without taking my mind off it. Especially the movie theatre cardio rooms where your running in the pitch dark like you’re in The Blair Witch Project.
7. A swimming pool and basketball court that I will most likely use once or twice.
8. Dumbbells going up to 150 that I can’t even get off the weight rack with two hands.
9. Trainers that are so juiced out that it makes you question what you have been doing with your life up to this point.
10. Cool swipe card for car ring, so that everyone knows I lift and I’m serious about it.
11. Always crowded at the time I want to lift, so I can either walk around/stare at myself in the mirror more or just stay on one machine the whole time.
12. Great memberships discount that include the outrageous sign up fees and cancellation penalties.
13. Inconsiderate people that never wipe down their sweat so my head is soaked in another person’s body fluids.
14. Managers that look like that they just came back from the buffet, but feel a sense of accomplishment because they know all the meatheads at their gym and vicariously live through their physiques.
15. *Most Important* A gym that is not on your route to work or any other important place, so when you stop going you don’t feel that sense of failure every time you drive by.
If you carefully read this list and narrow down your choice with my criteria, you should find the perfect gym that fits you.