I never really expected myself here at this point in my life. I always had this picture of what I’d be like when I got older. I would be off at some amazing school somewhere with a great group of friends and a handful of opportunities knocking at the door. I never gave much though about everything else because up to a certain point, my journey was smooth sailing. I had hit cruise control and was just enjoying the scenic views. Unfortunately, the road got a little bumpy. When I tried taking control, I realized my brakes were out and swerved off my preplanned destination. Now it seems like I am deserted on the side of an unused road just waiting for help.
Now that I’m twenty-one years old, I am not in school and have no idea what I want out of life. The one thing I was passionate about was wrestling but my days of competing are long over. A torn meniscus in my knee and a blown out shoulder really crippled my career. I still find myself going to matches and being involved in the sport as a fan. I’d love to help out and coach on the side, but I don’t know if I could ever see myself doing that as a career.
Another thing I have found myself doing more often is watching vlogs on Youtube. Usually it is couples that film themselves everyday and put it out for the world to see. They always seem to be having fun and doing cool, quirky things. I could watch them just shopping at a grocery store and won’t find myself being bored. If there is one thing I could do, it would be able to film myself and put it on Youtube. I’d love to try different, crazy things and share my life experiences with the internet. I have a lot of ideas for funny videos and it’d be awesome to collaborate with other Youtubers. I think the past part would be able to capture my life for everyday and always have that memory to look back on. That is probably one of the most rewarding parts of doing it besides sharing your crazy journey of a life for others.
Even people who seem to have it all probably feel a bit lost in life sometimes. If you are feeling this way, it is most likely other people have dealt with it as well. While I am still on the side of the road waiting for some assistance, it is nice to have some time to think about where I am going.
There used to be a time in my life when everything going on would constantly be floating around in my mind. A minute wouldn’t go by were I’d be panicking about my next test, my plans for that weekend, or if I’ll make weight for my wresting match. If one little thing didn’t go the way I wanted it to, I would be totally thrown off and quickly go into crisis mode. This way of living definitely aged me a good few years. So I recently decided that I just don’t care anymore.
Now, I’m not saying sit in your room and do nothing with your life. That is not the message I am giving. I am saying put everything you have into something you care about. Don’t settle until you are a hundred percent confident in what you have done. If you do that, then you won’t be worrying about what will happen. You won’t be staying up until the middle of the night tossing and turning hoping you studied another for your test. All you have to do is give it everything you have, and whatever will happen will happen. The cards will fold the way they are supposed to be. This is how I will live my life now. I am not going to worry and panic about the minor things. I am not going to care about that kind of thinking. I am going to do everything I possibly can to do what I want. And however it plays out, is how it is meant to be. All I know is I did everything I could and that’s all I care about.